When Jesus arrived in Bethany four days after his friend Lazarus died, Lazarus's sister Martha met him on the road and said, Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. Jesus did not scold her. He cried with the family, then raised Lazarus.
The Gospel of John tells this in chapter 11. Jesus had close friends in Bethany, a small village near Jerusalem. They were two sisters, Martha and Mary, and their brother Lazarus.
Lazarus got very sick. The sisters sent word to Jesus. By the time he came, Lazarus had died and had been in the tomb four days.
What Martha said
Martha heard Jesus was coming. She went out on the road to meet him.
Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
John 11:21 · King James Version
It is what grieving people say. Where were you? If you had come, this would not have happened. Later her sister Mary said the same words.
Martha did not hide how she felt. She said it straight to his face. And in the very next breath she said she still believed God would give him whatever he asked.
What Jesus did
Jesus did not tell her she was wrong to say it. He talked with her. When he saw Mary and their friends crying, he cried too. Then he went to the tomb and called Lazarus to come out, and Lazarus walked out alive.
What it means
You can bring your hurt to God just as it is, even when it sounds like blame. Martha did, and Jesus did not turn away from her. He stood with the family and cried with them before he did anything else.
If you are grieving, the full teaching on Lazarus is free to read in the Mercy app.
Read the whole chapter: John 11
1Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.
2(It was that Mary which anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped his feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.)
3Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest is sick.
4When Jesus heard that, he said, This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby.
5Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.
6When he had heard therefore that he was sick, he abode two days still in the same place where he was.
7Then after that saith he to his disciples, Let us go into Judæa again.
8His disciples say unto him, Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again?
9Jesus answered, Are there not twelve hours in the day? If any man walk in the day, he stumbleth not, because he seeth the light of this world.
10But if a man walk in the night, he stumbleth, because there is no light in him.
11These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep.
12Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well.
13Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep.
14Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead.
15And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, to the intent ye may believe; nevertheless let us go unto him.
16Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellowdisciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.
17Then when Jesus came, he found that he had lain in the grave four days already.
18Now Bethany was nigh unto Jerusalem, about fifteen furlongs off:
19And many of the Jews came to Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother.
20Then Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met him: but Mary sat still in the house.
21Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
22But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee.
23Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again.
24Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day.
25Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
26And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?
27She saith unto him, Yea, Lord: I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of God, which should come into the world.
28And when she had so said, she went her way, and called Mary her sister secretly, saying, The Master is come, and calleth for thee.
29As soon as she heard that, she arose quickly, and came unto him.
30Now Jesus was not yet come into the town, but was in that place where Martha met him.
31The Jews then which were with her in the house, and comforted her, when they saw Mary, that she rose up hastily and went out, followed her, saying, She goeth unto the grave to weep there.
32Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.
33When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,
34And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.
35Jesus wept.
36Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!
37And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?
38Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it.
39Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days.
40Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
41Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.
42And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me.
43And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth.
44And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
45Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him.
46But some of them went their ways to the Pharisees, and told them what things Jesus had done.
47¶ Then gathered the chief priests and the Pharisees a council, and said, What do we? for this man doeth many miracles.
48If we let him thus alone, all men will believe on him: and the Romans shall come and take away both our place and nation.
49And one of them, named Caiaphas, being the high priest that same year, said unto them, Ye know nothing at all,
50Nor consider that it is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not.
51And this spake he not of himself: but being high priest that year, he prophesied that Jesus should die for that nation;
52And not for that nation only, but that also he should gather together in one the children of God that were scattered abroad.
53Then from that day forth they took counsel together for to put him to death.
54Jesus therefore walked no more openly among the Jews; but went thence unto a country near to the wilderness, into a city called Ephraim, and there continued with his disciples.
55¶ And the Jews’ passover was nigh at hand: and many went out of the country up to Jerusalem before the passover, to purify themselves.
56Then sought they for Jesus, and spake among themselves, as they stood in the temple, What think ye, that he will not come to the feast?
57Now both the chief priests and the Pharisees had given a commandment, that, if any man knew where he were, he should shew it, that they might take him.
King James Version