Questions · Asking and helping

How can I help a single parent?

Offer real, specific help: a meal, a ride, an evening of babysitting. Single parents carry everything alone and rarely get a break. In the Gospels, a mother came alone to Jesus for her sick daughter and would not give up, even when his friends wanted her gone. He praised her great faith and helped her child.

Single parents do the work of two people. They cook, clean, drive, work, help with homework and stay up with the sick child, with no one to hand off to. Many of them are tired in a way that sleep does not fix. And many feel invisible at church, because the rest of us do not always see all they carry.

There is a story about a mother who fought for her child on her own.

The mother who would not stop

Jesus had gone north, to the region near the cities of Tyre and Sidon, outside his own country. A woman from that area came to him. She was a Canaanite, an outsider who was not Jewish.

Her daughter was very sick. The Gospel of Matthew, one of the four accounts of Jesus's life, does not mention a husband. She came alone.

She cried out to Jesus for help. At first he did not answer her. His friends wanted him to send her away because she kept shouting after them.

She did not stop. She knelt in front of him and said, "Lord, help me." Even when Jesus answered with words that sounded like a refusal, she answered back, quick and clever, refusing to give up on her girl.

Great is your faith

Then Jesus said this to her.

Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.

Matthew 15:28 · King James Version
The original Greek

τότε ἀποκριθεὶς ὁ Ἰησοῦς εἶπεν αὐτῇ· Ὦ γύναι, μεγάλη σου ἡ πίστις· γενηθήτω σοι ὡς θέλεις. καὶ ἰάθη ἡ θυγάτηρ αὐτῆς ἀπὸ τῆς ὥρας ἐκείνης.

Found in Codex Vaticanus (about AD 325), Codex Sinaiticus (about AD 350).

Of all the people in Matthew's account, she is one of only two that Jesus praised for great faith. Both were outsiders. She was a tired, determined mother, and he honored her.

Ways to help

Offer specific help. "Can I take the kids Saturday morning?" is easier to say yes to than "let me know if you need anything."

Bring dinner. A meal on a weeknight can be the biggest gift of the week.

Help with rides. School pickups, practices and doctor visits are hard when you cannot be in two places.

Give them time alone. An evening of babysitting so they can rest, see a friend or just sleep.

Be a steady adult for the kids. Show up to a game or a school play. Kids notice who comes.

Do not judge how they got here. Death, divorce or another reason, it does not matter. They need friends.

They are not alone

That mother came to Jesus by herself, and he did not send her away. If you know a single parent, you can make sure they are not carrying everything by themselves. A meal on a Tuesday says it clearly.

One prayer each morning, in plain words.

Mercy is a free app from the same people who wrote this. It is coming to the App Store soon.

Tell me when it is ready